Why Are You Still in My DMs? How to Handle Low-Effort Flirting Like a Pro

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When “wyd?” Isn’t a Personality Trait

Let’s be real: dating apps can feel like a full-time job, especially when you’re constantly fielding half-baked messages that sound like they were copy-pasted in bulk. If you’ve ever opened your app to a sea of “heyyy” or “u up?” texts, you’re not imagining things — lazy flirting is an epidemic.

But don’t worry. In this post, I’ll walk you through how to spot low-effort flirting, why you shouldn’t entertain it, and what to say instead.

This post may contain affiliate links and Jenna Haith Lifestyle (JHL) may be compensated for your clicks or purchases from said links. As an Amazon Associate, JHL will earn from qualifying purchases.

TL;DR? If it doesn’t make you smirk, don’t entertain it. Confidence is your best filter.

🚩 What Is Low-Effort Flirting?

Low-effort flirting is when someone tries to initiate a conversation with minimal thought, personality, or effort. You know the type:

“Hey”
“What’s up?”
“U single?”

It lacks originality and intention, and let’s be honest — you deserve more. A good dating app convo should feel like banter, not like pulling teeth.

If he can’t make you laugh with the first message, he’s not raising your cortisol (or your standards).

💡 How to Shut Down Boring Openers (While Still Looking Hot Doing It)

Here’s how to set the tone without being mean:

Respond playfully: “Oh wow, that opener must’ve taken all night to draft.”
Set boundaries: “I love when someone asks something thoughtful. Try again?”
Don’t reply: And let the algorithm do its job.

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🔥 Raise the Bar: High-Effort Openers to Look For

If someone starts with:

“I read your profile and had to ask—what’s your go-to karaoke song?”
“Would you rather time travel to the 90s or the 70s?”
“You mentioned you love spicy food. Ever tried Nashville hot chicken?”

Now that’s effort. You’re looking for someone who wants to know you, not just match with you.

✨ Products That Pair with Confidence

If you’re glowing from the inside, your outside should match. These are perfect for date nights or just swiping in bed:

Shay & Blue Perfume – That “who smells amazing?” vibe. (Use code: JENNAHAITHLIFESTYLE-20OFF for 20% off!)
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