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Alright, first dates are hard enough as it is.
I mean thank god for social media so we can stalk our date beforehand.
Oh, come on, everyone does it.
But, unfortunately, the social media stalking doesn’t cure the nerves of a first date.
I’m going to tell you some great tips that you all can use on first dates, from experiencing and using them myself!
I should preface that I do have a degree in Psychology.
Yeah, I took several classes in college so I’m pretty much a professional psychologist.
I’m kidding, lol.
Well, I’m not kidding about the degree part. I do have one in Psychology.
Just not experienced in the real world.
Okay, let’s get on to it.
So, first dates. Gotta love ‘em.
There are so many tips to help guide you through first dates, but I wanted to give you a few psychological ones that really helped me through them!
First off, I’ve used all of these tips while on dates but also in job interviews and just for first impressions, honestly.
Let me tell you, they all work.
So, take my word for it and try them out on the next person you meet!
Here are 5 psychology tricks you can use on a first date:
1. Reduce Eye Contact Anxiety – Look At Their Eye Color
Maintaining good eye contact is always a surefire way to let the person know you are listening.
But sometimes, when you start thinking about it in your brain, it can become super awkward for you.
Even if the other person doesn’t realize it.
Like, “OMG, have I been staring at that one thing on his face instead of his eyes this WHOLE time?”
“Do you think he’s noticed?”
“Should I look away?”
“This is so awkward.”
Try remembering their eye color when you’re talking to them.
This will force your mind to not care about the awkwardness of the eye contact but rather care about learning and memorizing their eye color.
And to the other person, you will seem more interested and intrigued by what they are saying.
Now you will feel more relaxed and the other person will feel like what they are saying is actually interesting to you.
See, it’s a “win, win” situation.
But try not to stare directly into their soul, for this might cause you to dismiss everything the person is saying to you.
Also, you’ll seem like a creep.
So, it’s okay to look away every once in a while!!
*Another tip to cure awkward eye contact: Imagine drawing an inverted triangle with your mind on the persons face.
Specifically, around the persons eyes and mouth. Now change the area you look to a new spot on your triangle every 10-15 seconds.
2. Mirror body language
Have you ever noticed a person’s body language when you are talking to them?
Probably not, because, usually, they are mirroring yours, so it’s never really distracting to you.
Humans do this subconsciously when they are “into” the other person.
Whether that be in a crush type of way or in a more professional setting, like a job interview at a job you really want!
However, if you remember this tip during a date, or with whoever you are trying to impress, make sure to check out their body language.
Mirroring their body language gives off a legit ~ vibe ~ to them that makes them feel comfortable.
This will ring a bell in the other persons mind that tells them that we are trustworthy and relatable.
- If your date’s hands are on the table, put your hands on the table, too.
- If you are both standing, make sure to see if their foot is popped out. Do the same.
It literally, subconsciously tells their brain that you are someone they can be comfortable with.
Imagine this: You will be less likely to feel comfortable with them if they are distancing themselves with their arms crossed. This might also tell you that they aren’t interested. Sorry. :/
3. Name Drop
No, not “I met Beyoncé” type of name drop.
I’m talking about the person’s name you are currently with.
Let me tell you, I’m terrible with names.
I will forget your name the second after mentioning it to me.
This is a total weakness of mine. Yikes!
BUT, learning this trick has helped me so much during job interviews, first dates, and meeting new co-workers, peers or friends.
Here’s the trick:
Once you are introduced to someone, try to use their name a couple of times when you are talking with them.
This will help you:
- remember their name
- make them feel more important and respected
- remember the conversation better
- will make them think of you more
Using someone’s first name a lot when talking directly to them, can boost your level of attractiveness to them.
Meaning, they’ll see you as more attractive!
This is why:
The more people hear their own name, the more they feel liked and “important”. Makes sense, right?
So try this trick out and you’ll begin to see that they are more interested in you.
*Also, let me clarify really quick, I did not meet Beyoncé… YET! One day, my friends. One day.
4. Compliment Like It’s Your Job
Okay, this is an easy one.
Everyone likes to be complimented, right?
It makes us feel good about ourselves.
We already enjoy the company of those that give compliments to us, that’s a given; but did you know that when you give out compliments to others, you are seen as not just a friendly person but a more confident one?
And who doesn’t love a confident person??
Here’s the science behind this:
Think of it this way, if you feel awkward giving out compliments, then it’s probably because “the words you hear don’t line up with the way you see yourself”.
Okay, sorry to be blunt.
But people that feel insecure or jealous, tend to be the ones to criticize and put people down.
And in turn, when someone compliments them, they will reject it.
In psychology, this is called “cognitive dissonance”.
It describes the inconsistencies humans have.
Those insecure people will ruminate over the compliment and will usually wonder if there was an ulterior motive behind it.
Okay, side note: Alright, I learned the word “ruminate” in psych class and HAD to put it in here.
Ruminate means to mull over, or to keep thinking about the situation over and over again.
Okay, psych lesson OVER.
So anyway, get your quick and witty compliments ready because if you want to seem more confident, then you’ll be using them a lot.
P.S. Your compliments don’t have to be the normal ones like, “Your shirt is cool.”
If they say something impressive or interesting, maybe say, “Wow, that’s so amazing you were able to do that! You must have worked really hard for it.”
BOOM. Confidence boost for them AND you!
5. Find Out If They Like You
When you are talking with your date, pick a word or phrase they say a lot and begin to nod your head or smile every time they say it.
You will begin to notice the person start saying it all the time or, stop saying the word or phrase.
You can tell which one is a good thing and which one isn’t.
But let me tell you just in case.
If the person stops using the word or phrase, then they have noticed that they say it a lot and are now embarrassed or uncomfortable to say it.
Your small head nods and smiles signals to them that you are encouraging what they are saying and are trying to bond with them.
Unfortunately, if they stop saying it, then they don’t feel the same way back. Hey, at least you’ll know!
BUT, if they do like you then you’ll notice they will say the word or phrase more so now than ever before. 🙂
Alright, that’s all I’ve got for you guys for today.
But don’t worry, there will be more tips, tricks and advice for dating, so be on the lookout!
Let me know in the comments if these tips have worked for you – whether that be for a date, job interview, etc.
Until next time,