Do you fear your loved one or former boyfriend was a narcissist? Are you confused about your relationship, feel constantly brought down and criticized, and don’t know what to do?
You’ve come to the right place. Let’s review what a narcissistic boyfriend is and what he can do to you.
What is a Narcissist
A narcissist is someone with an inflated sense of their own importance.
They require excessive admiration and attention, which more often than not leads to troubled relationships and a lack of empathy.
How to Know if You Are Dating a Narcissist
You often can tell by his or her need to always be right, undermine your feelings and thoughts, his or her sense of entitlement, delusions, and so on.
You can take this “am I dating a narcissist quiz” to figure it out.
How to Talk to a Narcissist
A good tip is to keep your sentences and interventions short and be neutral, avoiding responding out of emotions.
For example: “I hear what you’re saying,” or “I see, thanks for sharing.”
Can Two Narcissists Fall in Love?
Yes, two narcissists can definitely fall in love. Since they have similar personality traits, they will likely connect with each other.
Overall though, one of them might show stronger narcissism traits, being the one that manipulates and gaslights the most.
Can Narcissists Feel Any Emotion?
Yes, a Narcissist can feel emotion. But these feelings mostly go back to themselves. They might feel bad, angry, or sorry for themselves, while empathy toward others is rare.
Do Narcissists Feel Guilt?
Narcissists rarely feel any guilt or shame. Maybe after long sessions of successful therapy. Usually, narcissists don’t feel guilt or shame, though they can express it if that’s what you want to hear.
Narcissists most likely won’t admit to making a mistake or hurting you.
Can a Narcissist Be Faithful?
Yes, narcissists can be faithful. Narcissists can be loyal and faithful, though not all are.
They do require loyalty from you, but it depends on their particular personality whether they offer it back.
How Dating a Narcissist Changes You
Now that we’ve reviewed other questions, let’s answer how dating a narcissist changes you – because it does by far.
Note that how much psychological and emotional damage a narcissist causes you may vary depending on your character.
Some people are more vulnerable and empathetic, while others defend themselves easily.
Your Self-Esteem Disappears
Your self-esteem can disappear. This is the most common consequence for people who date narcissists. When a narcissist sees you happy, and they’re not the reason, they might go to large extents to bring you down. Examples are:
- They tell you you’ve gained/lost too much weight
- They call you stupid or names
- They say you talk non-sense
- They say – and even make sure – the thing that made you happy won’t last
- They downplay your accomplishments
And so on.
“Are you going out dressed like that? You look awful,” or “That book you love is disgusting. Your taste is so bad” are examples of a narcissistic partner trying to destroy your self-esteem. But why?
The worse you feel about yourself, the more you will admire them and “need” them for guidance and protection.
Therefore, your autonomy and self-esteem become primary targets.
You Become Isolated
Narcissists can get jealous of friends, family members, coworkers, etc. Anyone who may take you away from them and make you lose respect for them is a threat. So they’ll make sure you’re isolated.
It can begin by saying they don’t like that one friend. But then they repeat the process with another friend and then one more.
They even badmouth your family, and you become trapped between both parties. Who do you choose?
Since narcissistic partners are very good at manipulating, you might choose them and thus become isolated. You may lose the emotional support you used to have a few months ago.
You Don’t Trust Others nor Yourself
When someone gaslights you on a regular basis, you begin to think you’ve lost your mind. It can be difficult to trust your instinct or thoughts, and the same goes for other people.
Once you get out of the abusive relationship, you’re suspicious of everyone and everything.
What if that cute guy you dated last night was lying the whole time? Anyone that is charming can be abusive, just like your ex was.
Speaking of exes, you may begin to wonder how narcissists treat their exes. Yes, they can miss former partners, but not in a good way.
Instead, they miss the admiration, love, and patience you showed for them.
The best advice is to block them and move on with your life, no matter how much it hurts.
The Bottom Line
Losing confidence in your own perception and abilities is a common consequence of dating a narcissist. Having difficulties forming new relationships and trusting others is another one as well.
The good news is that it’s possible to reverse the damage they’ve caused with psychotherapy, patience, good emotional support, and a great new partner.
It’s more likely than one may think to repeat patterns in future relationships, so beware.
You’re so much more worth than what your narcissistic ex or partner led you to believe.
Feel free to share your experience or thoughts in the comments!
Until next time…
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