How Dating A Narcissist Changes You

Do you fear your loved one or former boyfriend was a narcissist? Are you confused about your relationship, feel constantly brought down and criticized, and don’t know what to do?

You’ve come to the right place. Let’s review what a narcissistic boyfriend is and what he can do to you.

Table of Contents

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What is a narcissist

A narcissist is someone with an inflated sense of their own importance.

They require excessive admiration and attention, which more often than not leads to troubled relationships and a lack of empathy.

These people may have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and may believe they are superior to others.

They may require constant attention and admiration from others and may become angry or defensive if they do not receive the level of attention or recognition they believe they deserve.

Narcissists may also lack empathy for others, and may have a hard time recognizing or caring about other people’s feelings or needs.

Narcissists may also engage in manipulative behaviors, such as lying, gaslighting, or exploiting others for their own benefit.

They may have difficulty maintaining stable relationships due to their self-centered behavior and lack of concern for others.

Do narcissist know they are narcissist

It’s important to note that narcissism is a spectrum and people can exhibit narcissistic traits without having a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Generally, individuals with NPD are not aware of their condition or they may deny it if they are confronted with the possibility of being a narcissist.

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration and attention.

People with NPD may see themselves as superior to others and may have unrealistic expectations of their relationships and interactions with others.

They may also have a hard time accepting criticism and may become defensive or angry if they feel like their ego is being threatened.

Because of their inflated sense of self-importance and lack of empathy, it can be difficult for individuals with NPD to recognize that they have a problem. They may see themselves as perfect or blame others for any issues in their relationships.

However, it is possible for a narcissist to recognize their behavior as problematic if they are willing to seek help and engage in therapy or other forms of treatment.

It’s important to remember that you cannot change a narcissist’s behavior or make them seek help if they are not willing to do so themselves.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it may be important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the challenges of the relationship.

How to know if you are dating a narcissist

If you are dating someone who you suspect may be a narcissist, there are several signs to look out for:

They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance: Narcissists often believe they are superior to others and may have an inflated sense of their own abilities, achievements, or importance.
They require constant attention and admiration: Narcissists may constantly seek attention, praise, and admiration from others. They may become angry or defensive if they feel like they are not receiving the level of attention or recognition they believe they deserve.
They lack empathy: Narcissists may have a hard time recognizing or caring about other people’s feelings or needs. They may be dismissive or unsympathetic when others are going through a difficult time.
They are manipulative: Narcissists may engage in manipulative behaviors, such as lying, gaslighting, or exploiting others for their own benefit.
They have a sense of entitlement: Narcissists may believe they are entitled to special treatment or privileges and may become angry or entitled if they feel like they are not receiving the treatment they believe they deserve.
They struggle with relationships: Narcissists may have difficulty maintaining stable relationships due to their self-centered behavior and lack of concern for others.

It’s important to note that not all individuals who display these traits have a narcissistic personality disorder.

However, if these traits are persistent and cause significant distress or impairment in daily life, it may be indicative of NPD.

If you are concerned that you may be dating a narcissist, it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the challenges of the relationship.

Check out this “am I dating a narcissist quiz” to learn more about your relationship and partner.

How to talk to a narcissist

Talking to a narcissist can be challenging because they often have difficulty empathizing with others and may be dismissive or defensive when confronted with criticism or feedback.

However, here are some strategies that may be helpful when communicating with a narcissist:

Use “I” statements: Instead of accusing the narcissist or blaming them for their behavior, use “I” statements to express how their behavior affects you. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” say “I feel hurt and ignored when I try to talk to you and you don’t respond.”
Be clear and direct: Narcissists may struggle with subtlety or ambiguity. Be clear and direct in your communication, and avoid beating around the bush or using passive-aggressive language.
Avoid triggering their defensiveness: Narcissists may become defensive when they feel criticized or attacked. Try to frame your feedback or concerns in a way that is non-confrontational and focuses on finding solutions rather than assigning blame.
Set boundaries: Narcissists may try to manipulate or control others, so it’s important to set clear boundaries around what you are and are not willing to tolerate in the relationship. Stick to your boundaries and be firm but respectful in communicating them to the narcissist.
Practice self-care: Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to prioritize your own well-being. Take breaks when you need them, seek support from friends or a therapist, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

It’s important to note that these strategies may not work in all situations, and that it may be necessary to limit or end contact with a narcissist if they are abusive or unwilling to change their behavior.

A good tip is to keep your sentences and interventions short and be neutral, avoiding responding out of emotions.

Can two narcissists fall in love?

It is possible for two individuals with narcissistic traits to be attracted to each other and even form a relationship, but it can be a tumultuous and unstable dynamic.

Two narcissists in a relationship may compete for attention and control, and their focus on their own needs and desires may lead to neglect or abuse of their partner.

They may also struggle to empathize with each other, leading to a lack of emotional connection and mutual understanding.

Additionally, if both partners have an intense need for admiration and attention, they may feel threatened by each other’s achievements or successes, which can lead to jealousy and conflict.

While it is possible for two narcissists to fall in love, it is important to note that this type of relationship can be emotionally damaging and may not be sustainable in the long term.

Seeking therapy or support to address underlying issues of narcissism may be helpful for both individuals to improve their relationship skills and emotional well-being.

Can narcissists feel any emotion?

Yes, narcissists are capable of feeling emotions, but they may have difficulty recognizing or expressing them. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, which can make it difficult for narcissists to connect with others emotionally.

Narcissists may also experience intense emotions such as anger, envy, or shame, but they may struggle to regulate these emotions or express them in healthy ways.

Instead, they may use maladaptive coping mechanisms such as avoidance, denial, or projection to protect their sense of self.

It’s important to note that while narcissists may experience emotions, they may lack the capacity for empathy, which means they may struggle to understand or care about other people’s emotions or needs.

This can lead to a pattern of exploitative or abusive behavior in relationships.

Do narcissists feel guilt?

Narcissists may experience guilt, but it is often a fleeting or superficial emotion. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, which can make it difficult for narcissists to experience or express guilt in a meaningful way.

When a narcissist does experience guilt, it may be in response to a perceived threat to their self-image or reputation.

For example, a narcissist may feel guilty if they are caught lying or cheating, but their guilt is often focused on how their behavior reflects on them rather than how it affects others.

Narcissists may also use guilt as a manipulative tool to control others or to elicit sympathy or attention. They may try to make others feel guilty for not meeting their needs or for challenging their behavior.

Overall, while narcissists may experience guilt, it is often a self-focused and manipulative emotion rather than a genuine expression of remorse or empathy for others.

What happens when a narcissist sees you cry

When a narcissist sees someone cry, their reaction may depend on the individual narcissist and the specific circumstances of the situation.

Here are a few possible reactions a narcissist may have:

They may feel uncomfortable or dismissive: Narcissists often struggle with empathy, and may feel uncomfortable or dismissive when someone displays emotions such as crying. They may not know how to respond or may see the tears as a sign of weakness or manipulation.
They may become defensive: If the crying is a result of a conflict or disagreement with the narcissist, they may become defensive and try to justify their actions or blame the other person for the situation. They may not take responsibility for their actions and may see the crying as an attempt to make them feel guilty or wrong.
They may use the tears to their advantage: In some cases, a narcissist may use the tears to their advantage, such as by playing the victim or manipulating the situation to get what they want. They may see the tears as a sign of weakness that they can exploit for their own benefit.
They may ignore the tears: In some cases, a narcissist may simply ignore the tears and continue on with their own agenda. They may not see the tears as a sign that they need to change their behavior or acknowledge the other person’s feelings.

It’s important to remember that a narcissist’s reaction to someone crying is not a reflection of the other person’s worth or value.

It is a reflection of the narcissist’s own issues with empathy and emotional regulation.

Can a narcissist be faithful?

While it is possible for a narcissist to be faithful in a relationship, it may be challenging for them to do so for several reasons.

First, narcissists may have an insatiable need for attention and validation, which can lead them to seek out multiple partners or engage in attention-seeking behavior.

They may also struggle with impulse control, which can make it difficult for them to resist temptation or engage in behaviors that may hurt their partner.

Second, narcissists may have a distorted sense of entitlement and believe that they deserve special treatment or that the rules do not apply to them.

This can lead them to justify their infidelity or to blame their partner for not meeting their needs.

Finally, narcissists may struggle with empathy and emotional connection, which can make it difficult for them to form genuine, intimate relationships.

They may view their partner as an object to be used for their own pleasure or validation, rather than as a person with their own needs and desires.

Overall, while it is possible for a narcissist to be faithful in a relationship, it may be challenging for them to do so due to their underlying personality traits and issues with intimacy and empathy.

How does a narcissist react when they can’t control you

Narcissists crave control and dominance over others, so when they are unable to control someone, they may react in a variety of ways.

Here are some possible reactions a narcissist may have when they can’t control you:

They may become angry and hostile: Narcissists can have a tendency to lash out when they feel like they are losing control. If they perceive you as a threat to their control, they may become aggressive and lash out at you verbally or even physically.
They may try to manipulate you: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and may try to use emotional manipulation or guilt to regain control. They may try to make you feel guilty for not doing what they want, or use other tactics to try and make you do their bidding.
They may withdraw or give you the silent treatment: If the narcissist feels like they can’t control you, they may withdraw from the situation and give you the silent treatment. This is a way for them to punish you and regain control over the situation.
They may try to turn others against you: If the narcissist can’t control you directly, they may try to turn others against you. They may spread rumors or make false accusations to damage your reputation and isolate you from others.
They may become depressed or anxious: Narcissists may feel a loss of power and control when they can’t control someone, which can lead to feelings of depression or anxiety.

It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and narcissists may react in different ways when they can’t control someone.

However, it’s important to set boundaries and not allow a narcissist to control or manipulate you.

What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship

So, you feel the relationship dwindling downwards and are still not sure if your partner is the one to blame. Let’s take a look at what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship.

At the end of a relationship, a narcissist may react in a variety of ways depending on the individual and the circumstances of the breakup.

Here are some possible reactions:

Blaming and Gaslighting

Narcissists gaslighting often have difficulty accepting responsibility for their actions, so they may blame you for the breakup and try to make you feel like you are the problem. They may also gaslight you by denying that certain events or behaviors ever took place, or by distorting the truth to make themselves look better.

Anger and Hostility

Narcissists may become angry and hostile when they feel rejected or when they perceive a threat to their ego. They may lash out at you verbally or even physically, or they may try to intimidate you or make threats.

Seeking Revenge

Narcissists may feel a need to get even or seek revenge if they feel like they have been wronged. They may engage in vindictive behavior such as spreading rumors, sabotaging your reputation or career, or stalking you.

Disappearing Act

Narcissists may simply disappear or go no-contact without explanation, leaving you confused and hurt. This can be a form of punishment or a way to maintain control over the situation.

Hoovering

Some narcissists may try to come back into your life after a breakup, often with promises to change or pleas for forgiveness. This can be a tactic to regain control over you or to get what they want from you.

It’s important to remember that a narcissist’s behavior at the end of a relationship is not about you, but rather a reflection of their own issues with control, self-esteem, and insecurity.

It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and safety, and to seek support from friends, family, or a professional therapist if needed.

Now that we’ve reviewed other questions, let’s answer how dating a narcissist changes you – because it does by far.

Note that how much psychological and emotional damage a narcissist causes you may vary depending on your character.

Some people are more vulnerable and empathetic, while others defend themselves easily.

Your Self-Esteem Disappears

Your self-esteem can disappear. This is the most common consequence for people who date narcissists. When a narcissist sees you happy, and they’re not the reason, they might go to large extents to bring you down. Examples are:

They tell you you’ve gained/lost too much weight
They call you stupid or names
They say you talk non-sense
They say – and even make sure – the thing that made you happy won’t last
They downplay your accomplishments

And so on.

“Are you going out dressed like that? You look awful,” or “That book you love is disgusting. Your taste is so bad” are examples of a narcissistic partner trying to destroy your self-esteem. But why?

The worse you feel about yourself, the more you will admire them and “need” them for guidance and protection.

Therefore, your autonomy and self-esteem become primary targets.

You Become Isolated

Narcissists can get jealous of friends, family members, coworkers, etc. Anyone who may take you away from them and make you lose respect for them is a threat. So they’ll make sure you’re isolated.

It can begin by saying they don’t like that one friend. But then they repeat the process with another friend and then one more.

They even badmouth your family, and you become trapped between both parties. Who do you choose?

Since narcissistic partners are very good at manipulating, you might choose them and thus become isolated. You may lose the emotional support you used to have a few months ago.

You Don’t Trust Others nor Yourself

When someone gaslights you on a regular basis, you begin to think you’ve lost your mind. It can be difficult to trust your instinct or thoughts, and the same goes for other people.

Once you get out of the abusive relationship, you’re suspicious of everyone and everything.

What if that cute guy you dated last night was lying the whole time? Anyone that is charming can be abusive, just like your ex was.

Speaking of exes, you may begin to wonder how narcissists treat their exes. Yes, they can miss former partners, but not in a good way.

Instead, they miss the admiration, love, and patience you showed for them.

The best advice is to block them and move on with your life, no matter how much it hurts.

The bottom line

Losing confidence in your own perception and abilities is a common consequence of dating a narcissist. Having difficulties forming new relationships and trusting others is another one as well.

The good news is that it’s possible to reverse the damage they’ve caused with psychotherapy, patience, good emotional support, and a great new partner.

It’s more likely than one may think to repeat patterns in future relationships, so beware.

You’re worth so much more than what your narcissistic ex or partner led you to believe.

Feel free to share your experience or thoughts in the comments!

Until next time…

Cheers Lovelies!